The process-oriented approach to addiction

We are an addicted society where almost all individuals are searching for the delights that Rumi writes about here. Many problems arise as these addictions or addictive tendencies get out of control and dominate and sometimes ruin people's lives.

There is often a sense of hopelessness as we try to help individuals who are stuck in an addictive cycle and who may risk relationship breakdown, financial ruin or even serious illness or death as a result. In response to this, as a society, we have developed many models and techniques to help people overcome these often life-threatening problems. Some of these include the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, Motivational Interviewing and the medical model where individuals are given pharmaceutical aids such as methadone to help them come off heroin. These can be very effective, especially considering how difficult it is for individuals, their family members and helpers. For instance, the community support of A.A. meetings and the buddy system has been a lifeline for many, a structure and support which has helped people keep on track with their motivation.

However, the deepest need which underlies the addiction may not be addressed. The process-oriented approach recognizes the destructive power of the addiction and that this power can contain an energy or information that is meaningful, a dream door which, when opened and unfolded, could lead to a deep enhancement of a person's life.

There are several ways that addictive processes are unfolded and made understandable to an individual. One such technique is known as reaccessing. This is where the altered state that the person is trying to enter with their substance or addictive behavior is entered more deeply without the actual use of the substance or behavior. Because there are usually personal and collective inhibitions to that state, an individual becomes addicted trying again and again to find that deep sense of home, personal power or transcendent peace.

Everybody's experience is different and unique, despite there being some common patterns.  However, I have found that it is usually very relieving for people to discover the meaningfulness behind their seemingly random and unconscious behavior, that their addiction is not simply an illness or transgression, but something remarkable and precious leading them to live their lives more fully.

Using a non-pathologising process-oriented approach, it is possible to help people find that deep sense of connection, and the self-understanding and awareness to discover their own unique way to heal themselves and their addictive tendencies, and to experience their longings and altered states in a way which do not damage health or well-being.

from The Many Wines by Rumi 13th century Sufi mystic poet

God has given us a dark wine so potent that,
drinking it, we leave the two worlds.

God has put into the form of hashish a power
to deliver the taster from self-consciousness.

God has made sleep so
that it erases every thought.

God made Majnun love Layla so much that
just her dog would cause confusion in him.

There are thousands of wines
that can take over our minds.

Don’t think all ecstasies
are the same!

Jesus was lost in his love for God.
His donkey was drunk with barley.

Drink from the presence of saints,
not from those other jars.

Every object, every being,
is a jar full of delight.

Be a connoisseur,
and taste with caution.

Two examples of using reaccessing

Example 1

This was a woman in her late 50's who had struggled with her addictions all her adult life and whose husband had recently left her for a younger woman. She arrived at the session (on skype) hanging her head and avoiding eye contact. She said she felt ashamed to tell me that she had had a relapse with her cannabis addiction. Aware that shame can stop a person being able to even talk about their addictions, I encouraged her to talk about what had happened and why. She said she felt unable to to cope with the intense emotions of  loss and jealousy, and that she felt old, ugly, fat and worthless in comparison with the younger woman and that she was desperately lonely missing her husband. Recognizing that as well as the loneliness, this was an issue of sexism, social marginalization and the social hypnosis that creates the belief that younger women because of their appearance have all the rank and power, and that older women should be left unnoticed on the scrapheap, I pointed this out and sympathized with the pain this gave her.

We would have worked on this further, but at that point her image on skype turned upside down. Aware that any unexpected happening during a session may be a synchronicity and a dream door to the deeper process of the individual, I asked myself what needs turning on its head? So I made the radical suggestion that we change our focus, so that instead of only feeling  sad and compassionate for the woman's experience, we think also about how Process Work tells us that we become addicted to the very thing we need more of in life and that there is a dreaming process behind every addiction.

So I suggested she try re accessing her experience of marijuana smoking. I asked her about her experience of being stoned  and asked her to take an imaginary puff so she could gain more awareness about it. She slowly and with some difficulty at first took her imaginary puffs of cannabis. She said she felt silly but I reassured that this was a tried and tested method of self-discovery. Eventually she told me she felt calmer, more relaxed and at the same time had a heightened perception and sense of being totally in the moment. She was reminded of a Rumi poem which began:-

 I saw Grief drinking a cup of Sorrow and called out.
 “It tastes sweet does it not?”
“You've caught me out” Grief answered
“And you've ruined my business. How can I sell Sorrow when you know its a blessing”.

She explained she had become aware of a deep attitude of acceptance, that even the intense feelings of loneliness are a part of life and create an awareness of something deeper in herself, a sense of connectedness. From this relaxed state she could handle anything that life throws at her.

This was her antidote to loneliness. She needed the “state of marijuana” which allows her to feel enriched by all her experience, even loneliness and jealousy. She had become addicted to marijuana because she needed this state in her life, the ability to be totally in the moment with a calm acceptance and heightened perception.

Whilst I recommended she continue to re-access whenever she needed it,  we also spent a lot of time discussing the differentiation between using substance and re accessing the state and the importance of staying away from the substance. Taking the substance only gives a whiff of the state but with re accessing it is possible to go deeper and really unfold and experience its meaning. Over time, this client's  found that her natural ability to access this relaxed transcendent state was far more satisfying than being “stoned” and all the associated health risks.

Example 2

This was a professional woman in her 40's, a single mum plagued by loneliness and self-doubt. Her usual identification was patterned by this loneliness and feeling of being a victim of circumstances, and she had got into a lethal habit of smoking cigarettes and drinking a whole bottle of wine per night on several nights a week. Again issues of social marginalization were relevant here (as they almost always are in strongly addictive processes). In other words, the lack of community support she felt as a single working mum intensified her isolation and feeling of lack of worth. As in the previous example, this identification was a big part of the problem and re accessing helped her to find a different way of seeing herself and her life.

I suggested to the client that she show me what happens when she drinks and smokes. Again it was difficult at first. She needed to stand in the therapy room as she did in “real life” in her back yard and act out the smoking and drinking. But with every puff and swig of imaginary wine, she stood more upright and strong, and looked much bigger physically than she had before. She said she felt totally in her power, and that suddenly anything was possible. Possibilities were infinite. She saw how to deal with some relationship difficulties at work and even saw how she could leave her job and go freelance.

I suggested that we do a role play so that the 2 identifications of “victim” and “powerful one” could speak to one another.  One said she was afraid of change whilst the other saw herself as the talented, intelligent woman she is and who could easily see her way round the difficulties. They continued their discussion back and forth until she felt even more strongly in the new identification. This is what she needed and was in the back of her addictions. Hidden in her smoking and drinking lay an attitude of self-belief, power and confidence.

Conclusion

Both clients were risking health with substance abuse, but the technique of re accessing led the one to a state of inner peace and spiritual connection and the other to her power and self-confidence.

Any addiction or addictive tendency can be worked with in this way. As well as substance addictions, it has been shown to work well with eating disorders and behavior addictions such as gambling and sex and relationship addictions.

Although re accessing can help a person understand the impulse behind an addiction, and also provide a way to ground that experience, sometimes one technique is not enough to help someone to go the full way to kicking a habit and staying “clean”.  A process-oriented approach recognizes the very real problems of social marginalization and isolation which can result in an individual's inability deal with strong emotion, a sense of powerlessness, anxiety or depression. Process Work therefore helps people to go beyond their usual limited identifications as being unable to cope without their addictions and helps them find new ways to view themselves.

Very often this change of identification can be difficult for a person to achieve and maintain. Long-held beliefs unconsciously structure these limited identifications e.g. “I cannot be a powerful woman as it isn't feminine and people won't like me” or “if I relax, nothing will get done”.

Therefore, it is necessary not only to address and process these social issues and beliefs in the sessions, but also to offer other ways to support an individual. This could include helping clients to find resources in themselves such as discipline, strength and determination, and to find inner wise figures to model new patterns and to act as inner allies. Helping someone to find a creative project to channel the energy released by giving up an addiction is another way to support someone to stay “clean” and find meaning and purpose to life.

Everything depends upon an individual's unique needs and dreams. For example, the first step of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  “I am powerless against.......(the substance/behavior)” can help those people whose processes fit with the idea of surrender and acceptance but could be harmful to others for whom a sense of powerlessness in the world is part of the problem. Alcoholics' Anonymous as a supportive community can be invaluable for one person but not another. A process-oriented approach  encourages individuals to find constructive help where they can, acknowledging the difficulty and pain of being trapped in an addictive cycle.

Re accessing is a powerful tool with which to help a client discover the deeper meaning in their addictive processes, a meaning which can release a person from the shame and hopelessness of their addiction. So together with this simple but effective tool, Process Work offers a non-judgmental and loving atmosphere within which to explore addictions,  the flexibility to use other approaches and the basic understanding and awareness that there is meaning in all experience.